The art of conversation with a teenager. How to become a role-model parent and to best manage the ‘bomb’.
Slammed doors, angry knocks on table, deathly silences. Getting close to a teenager is an arduous task, full of daily challenges and strategies to learn. It is not easy job to deal with a teenager or to get the meaning hidden behind his irreverent, irascible behaviors. It is not easy to accept that they have grown so quickly and need to fly out of the nest.
A teenager is an erupting volcano that often erupts without being able to fully understand why, a person who undergoes a metamorphosis of changes and is weaving his own identity. With little modulated feelings, confused and full of contradictions.
A person who thinks that sometimes the world turns against him, with little capacity for self-criticism and to manage frustration. Adolescence is the stage in which our children need our love, understanding and empathy, although sometimes it does not seem like that at all. Our children need you to express your love unconditionally on a daily basis, to agree on rules, to relax limits. They need tons of aproving glances, words that they can understand, hugs that protect.
But it is not easy at all to be able to surround them calmly when they spend many hours locked in their room, hooked on their mobile or tablet or when they decide to hide behind their silence. One of the main concerns for families with teenage children is the lack of communication.
Communication must continue to be one of the most important pillars in your accompaniment during this stage and for this reason you must find strategies allowing you to create new communication channels.
It is essential that your children feel heard, recognized and respected. The problem is not with what you say but with the way you do it.
How to achieve effective communication with your children
- To be are aware of your own emotions and moods. If you are not well, they will not be either.
- Give up to questions, ironies, accusative tones or comparisons. With a language full of respect and large doses of affection. Let us always bear in mind the characteristics of the stage they are living.
- Find daily intervals when it’s best suitable to speak without rushing. This by respecting the intimacy they need, their vital rhythms, let them experiment without feeling watched. Try to accept they will not always want to talk when we propose them to.
- Attentive and active listening should be the basis of our communication. Let us apologize when we are wrong.
- When you feel that the conversation with them is getting complicated and you are about to lose control, spend some time alone and resume the conversation when you will have regained your calm.
- Show interest in everything they like and give importance to everything they tell you.
- Let’s be the best example when it comes to managing conflicts, controlling our anger, let’s agree on assertive formulas that satisfy both sides. Let us control our impulses by listening to their complaints with affection, by evaluating their proposals, by showing empathy towards their concerns. Let us become a model of respect, love and understanding.
- Let us accept our children as they are, appreciating all the good things they have, thus strengthening their self-esteem. Let us value all the efforts they make with empowering words.
- Let them make their own decisions so that they can design their own path. Let’s assume that they will often make mistakes, let’s teach them that error is essential for learning.
- Share with them everything you feel, like or care about. Explain your challenges or difficulties to them, sharing your way of seeing life. Offer them to do activities together that strengthen your relationship.
- Repeat to them daily that you are unconditionally by their side, no matter what. Creating bonds of trust, establishing intimate and authentic ties that create the ideal environment to express yourself freely.
- Let us be affectionate while keeping a great sense of humor. Our children have grown a lot but they still need to feel protected with our hugs and kisses. Let’s use WhatsApp to send them messages that create complicity.
Did you like our post: Steps For Teaching Parents How to Make Conversation With Teenagers ?
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