How to Stop Putting Pressure on Yourself

How to Stop Putting Pressure on Yourself

Being serene and efficient, meeting standards and cultivating our individuality – seems to be the first objective when you want to attain a certain level of performance.

We are overwhelmed, harassed, exhausted with everyday life problems that we strive to face and solve, but sometime that draw new problems! “Be calm”, “clear your mind”, “live in full consciousness” is what mindfulness professor Fabrice Midal recommends.

But how you can achieve that level of mindfulness?

How to manage to ignore all the more or less conscious problems that fill our minds? “By not thinking about them. By just stopping… quite simply. And for that, it is required to return to our bodily presence… be exactly where you are, right now!

When we are facing a problem, Midal advises, it seems only natural and useful to think it over. In reality, what happens when we are doing so is just to reinforce our illness. The best, according to the specialist, would be to just stop thinking about it. “Don’t do anything. And you will see, this will allow you to better face your problems!” argues Midal.

“I think we have to start by taking into account the absurdity of our behavior. Of course we have every reason to be stressed, panicked, anxious – the job, the kids, our partner etc. – but this approach leads us to bump our heads against the wall again and again. No injunction can help us, that’s true. Telling someone “calm down” only makes us even more irate. This is why in my book, I try to expose the need to make peace with oneself. Do not try to be calm or to relax! Just be where you are as you are. If you feel tough pressure, don’t try to live anything else. You will not succeed. But truly be where you are, in this tension. In general we tend to observe, to judge, toelaborate on what is happening to us. We don’t experience it at all. And this blocks the natural process.”

Also argues Fabrice Midal, leaving room for interpretation such as it is better not to escape any kind of feeling or situation, be it negative or uptight. “We must abandon the idea of ​​serenity – at least in the most common sense – of detachment from all the hard times in life. This dream (e.n. – serenity) makes us suffer because we never live it, and thus we take the pressure and the difficulties as attacks or threats,” advises Midal.

When feeling lost, the best we can do is to come back to oneself, not only spiritually, but also bodily. For getting rid of pressure one should better take a break, perhaps meditate, stop running from one task to another or not fully appreciate what we are doing in present time – by just pausing this “efficiency dictatorship”.

Fabrice Midal  a philosopher and teacher of meditation for more then 20 years. He is also the introducer of mindfulness in France.

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