How To Stop Holding Grudges And Start Forgiving People

How To Stop Holding Grudges And Start Forgiving People


Figuring out how to pardon someone who really wronged you is not an easy thing. Most time we imagine that we are over it and have forgiven them but in most cases we usually hold a grudge against them.

However holding resentment only hurts you the more. You only end up stressing yourself over it which cannot only cause psychological problems but also more serious health problems. It is therefore essential to learn the act of forgiveness and to avoid grudges.

Acknowledge the cause of the grudge

To start with, try to find out the root cause of your grudge. You can only try to find a solution after you are aware of the problem. At times you may come to realize that you were just over reacting and holding a grudge over such a petty thing. Once you have seen the main problem you can then settle on a decision to push ahead from that point.

Consider the positive side.

Everything in life has its positive and negative side. Instead of getting angry other the whole issue, try and take it as an invaluable lesson to you. Take in an important lesson or leave with a superior understanding that can assist you to let go of the issue and not despise the one who wronged you.
Put yourself into their shoes.

At times we may be quick at judging people when they do something bad to us but try fitting yourself into their shoes and you may get a better understanding of why they had to do what they did. This doesn’t legitimize their actions; however it will assist you to comprehend it. The better you understand their intentions, the easier you will find it to forgive them.

Share your thoughts with the other party

A grudge could be as a result of just a small misunderstanding or by confronting the issue the wrong way. Without being biased clarify your feelings on the issue. At that point, choose if this is something you will chip away at in your own heart or by reaching the other individual to come up with a solution. Wait until you have calmed down and then confront the other party in a calm and non-judgmental way. You may choose to solve it among yourselves or try involving a third party. But regardless of the approach, this will help you to get rid of the tension built up in you allowing you to feel more relaxed.

Finally forgive them

Obviously forgiveness does not imply that you will forget the whole incidence. It only means that you have accepted your disparities and acknowledged that we are all human who are prone to error. Forgiveness isn’t easy but it is worth it. It allows you to get rid of that burden off your heart therefore giving you peace.

Personal Transformation
Educational Psychology, , ,

Written by Feminism Through Cinema and Literature

Hi, its Tia from Cambridge, England. My blog, ‘Feminism Through Cinema and Literature’, addresses the desire to derive meaning from human existence, by exploring a specifically female experience. Representation of feminism in media largely consists of an overarching focus upon the hardships women experience at the hands of patriarchy. Feminism consequently becomes synonymous with an emphasis on women’s continual plight against male-misbehaviour. Exposure to instances of female powerlessness can be counteractive; it can foster feelings of helplessness, causing one to feel doomed to subjugation. Consequently, I wanted to promote awareness of ‘powerful’ and ‘strong’ women. ‘Feminisms Through Cinema and Literature’ celebrates the great female icons from film and literature. I discuss the motivation of these women’s actions and pinpoint the very essence of their humanity. The Humanities motivated me to write my blog. Upon learning about Gandhi’s activism as part of my A-Level Religious Studies course, I adopted his assertion, “be the change that you want to see in the world”, as my own personal philosophy. This inspired not only me but my desire to inspire others. In an age of social media, airbrushing and the over-sexualisation of the female body, I wanted to provide examples of empowering female role models for the community. So far this has been a very rewarding project. I am proud of the ethos my blog promotes. I hope that you too enjoy my blog and do feel free to leave a comment.

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