Over time, we usually discover that the best state of life is not to be in love, but to be peaceful. Only when someone succeeds in finding that inner balance where nothing is left over and nothing is missing, is it when one feels fuller than ever. Love can show up at that point if it wants to, although it is not a must.
“You can never get peace in the outside world until you make peace with yourself.” (Dalai Lama)
Tranquility is far from being emotionless. Nor does it imply giving up to love or to that passion that dignifies us, that gives us wings and also roots. According to psychologist Valeria Sabater, being serene and peaceful does not mean escaping or avoiding any of these dimensions, but experiencing them from that perspective where one knows very well where the limits are.
She also believes that we’re in our utmost state when we’re calm and clear, peaceful and OK with ourselves, not in love or under turbulences because of it. And also that we shouldn’t “love ourselves out”. “The best state one finds himself in it is not giving everything until our vital rights are blurred only because of that unfathomable fear of being alone. The best state is to be tranquil, with adequate inner harmony where there is no room for gaps, for desperate attachments or impossible idealizations,” the psychologist argues.
Because love, however much they tell us about it, does not always justify everything. Not if it involves abandoning ourselves.
People in whose heart balance breathes and in whose mind tranquility dwells, do not see love as a need or as a desperate longing. Love is not something that comes to rescue them, because the serene person no longer needs to be saved.
Ways to attain serenity and peace of mind:
- Spend time with the right kind of people
- Get enough sleep
- Practice acceptance
- As soon as your mind wanders off in the wrong direction, get it back on course
- Go to happy places
- Hunt down unrealistic expectations
- Listen to music
- Enjoy nature
- Go for walks
- Be true to you and others
If you follow these tips, you will be on your way to a more serene life. Once you get started, it will snowball.